'I took a walk through depford recently and soon realised that some places on this earth refuse to move forwards. Its as though in some places time freezes. That is the exerience i felt walking on the train platform, Depford station... In my mind and heart i felt a conflict. One was wrestling the other. My mind knew that a year had passed since the time we were at that platform together but my heart was convinced that a year hadnt passed at all, and at any moment you were to appear at the top of the staircase and we were gonna catch the train together. I kept looking, and looking, nothing... Its strange that something as small as missing you by seconds on an ordinary day some years ago can present itself like a bolt of lightning, and knock you off balance. Its sadder still that the most important moments in your life, and the most significant in your relationship are the ones that never reveal themselves to you until much later in life. I couldnt remember a single valentines day or christmas or birthday that we spend together as much as i can remember maybe a lazy saturday afternoon, or an ordinary evening where we were talking about one thing or another. Maybe now that is why I shy away from big events because they are artificial, they are just not as authentic as the simple things, the everyday things... And today, i have friends who say to me that i should date all these different girls etc etc, and i refuse politely, stating that i am fine, or that i am not in the mood. It is not even that i want to turn the clock back at all. But rather what i feel is a quiet satisfaction. I know what love is, and i definetly know what isnt... It's wierd, who knows, we could try and be together in the future and it could be a total disaster, but to me that doesnt matter, some things just feel right, so why question what does? '
Michael Bhim
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